"catch on fire if you must,
sometimes everything needs to burn to the ground so that we may grow."
-a.j. lawless
I did something for myself.
Not the mom in me.
Not the teacher in me.
Not the wife in me.
For my creative self.
MY creative soul.
What seems like yesterday I was inspired by my friend, Lynne's Brave Project, where she made a list of things that scared the absolute tar out of her...and then she committed to doing ALL of the things that scared her. She is an amazing, inspirational woman that I am honored to call a dear friend. Because I can't commit to making a list of things I'm scared of...weird, right?! I just thought to myself, if it scares me, I'll just do it. I'll just rip off the band-aid and just do it!!! I've always wanted to go to a conference for photographers. I figure if there are creatives out there willing to let others learn from them, it'd be my jam. I love learning! Once I started looking around I discovered there are a ton of conferences and workshops you could attend. I instantly became overwhelmed. I had to slow down and think. What is my goal here? The goal of the ideal conference in my head was one that inspired me, refueled me, let me talk to people to get ideas, one that I didn't feel like an imposter, one that welcomed me, one that maybe I'd walk away with a few new friends. When I found Photo Native (thanks, Ashley!) and read on the front page of their website "YOU BELONG" something clicked in me. So, I bit the bullet, jumped into the deep end of the pool, bought my ticket maybe six months ahead of time. Just enough time to procrastinate the thought of traveling alone, for the first time. Just enough time to procrastinate the thought of actually being around other creatives and letting all my inner fears psych me out. I didn't talk about it to hardly anyone. I wanted to forget about it. I. Was. Terrified. Fast forward to getting my film scans back from my photo shoot with the amazing Yan Palmer, and I never want to forget about my experience at Photo Native. It was like something out of a dream.
I started overwhelmed with tears and ended the same way. I met some amazing people that I've kept in contact with. These lovelies believe in me, and I in them. They're helping push me to be the best I can be. I love that. Photo Native did something for my soul that words can't describe. It brought me to the realization that I do belong.
I belong in this creative arena, we all do.
I belong behind the lens.
I belong documenting my family and other people's families.
Most of all, I belong doing what makes me happy. Because if I do what makes me happy...my kiddos will see that and hopefully they'll lead a life of doing what makes them happy as well.
Phew that blog post was a long one. Thanks for hanging in there with me.
This in-home family session was shot on my Pentax 67, Mamiya645, and Elan7. Medium format: Fuji400h. Rated at 800. 35mm: Portra160. Rated at 100.
I would love to photograph a relaxed family, in-home, that is lovey-dovey, happy, and just wants pictures of their family being themselves...click here to get that conversation rockin' and rollin'! I can't wait to hear from you!